This is probably how it went down

Drake sees Brown at the club

Drake: Yo Chris I thought you had the stomach flu or something? You tryin to bail on my slumber party or what?

Chris: I was sick…and then I wasn't sick..ok. Calm your brows man, Calm your brows

Drake: TF did you say? *phone vibrates*

Chris; saved by the buzz

Drake on the phone; " hahahaha I know you want it in the worst way. I know I know I know and its not even your birthday ah yeah ah yeah trust issues…sorry I don't know why I do that…be at yours in 20"

Chris: That Robin?

Drake: you think

Chris; That's cold.

Drake; you want to know whats cold, this bottle of Cristal

Chris; TF did u do that for?

Rochelle; Oh my God imma sue you guys that bottle just cut right through my back.

Drake: your too loud man.

Meek Mill; ok I don't think im reppin Philly right by standing next to the two of you.

Drake; Yeah  yeah we all got nuff love for home shut up. TF would you name yourself Meek Mill anyway?

Meek Mill:hold up  imma tweet this shit. Tweets *it wasn't me (shaggy voice)…LOL

Rochelle;my friend's suing too.

Drake; do you want me to be proud of your friend too?

Chris Brown; Im bleeding, hold my cam for me man gotta look real bloody in this one * hands camera to the nearly dead body guard

Drake; want some Ketchup to go with that so they know its real

Chris; No imma tag your name so you know its real

Meek Mill; ooooooooooh

Drake; y'all just a bunch of annoying bums.

Meek Mill: hey Drake can we take a pic together jus so people know we cool. No duck lips though

Drake; last nerve Meek…las nerve

Meek Mill; okay okay you do your duck face thing jus hurry place is getting rowdy.

Chris Brown; anyway you guys I gotta bounce…text me when you get any info on our ratings…tell Robin im thinking about a remix for Cockiness. Don't leave that part out Drake…don't

Drake; yeah relax. Xo…oh shit Cameras….Later Chris…OVOXO….xoxxoxoxoxoxo….hugs
Reactions;
Beyonce; who is this Meek Mill individual?
Big Sean; ….and they say I’m too fake…smh
Roscoe Dash; I’ll blast them on Twitter. This is so serious
Marilyn Manson; O_O

Lessons I have learned this holiday.

Since school's been out and i have stayed away from UG madness  this summer, I have been graced with a book of lessons this holiday.

1.Prayer is the trick all day errday errday (Big  Sean voice).

2.No we can't get much  higher...Voila...you have your answer

3.Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany. i don't know what feelings i am evoking from the reader. Let's see, how does this work? " Hey Tiff! 'sup Tiff Tiffy how does it feel playing George Putnam?"

4. Wendy Williams is not a man

5.In football, the gundi- the goalkeeper can score for his team (Bayern Munich vs. Chelsea). Did you know that? ok i didn't but u who isnt surprised as i am because you are the Arsenal FC captain according to your village people shouldnt judge me.

6.If i had friends like the one Nicki Minaj has, i'd drop them like a hot potato. you cant rock errthing...for example that bikini in Starships is more than a fashion atrocity...but then again its Mama Roman...but maybe sometimes all you need is some Jesus clothes and sandals. Cover Up!

7.Never watch 1000 ways to die while/before eating.

8.The wrath of Akabanga. i first tasted Akabanga about 2 years ago but it wasnt as potent as what i had a couple of days back. 3 drops of that stuff and you'll order for "anything ON THE ROCKS". the other thing is you have to be alert, you cant sip someone's Fanta or Sprite while eating food with Akabanga.

9.Rajon Rondo likes me. he wants to marry me when his contract is up....so i heard! :)

10.Due to the 28 hours my day has, i have a lot of time on my hands to greet. i really have a thing for greeting. Explains my Muganda roots.

11.You cant sit back and expect life to work itself out. That feeling of accomplishment is beyond amazing.

12.If you are attacked by an unknown being, for example if the attacker shows interest in one boob, i can help you identify you're attacker. do not let your boob's assault go unavenged. If the attacker is short, its definately a woman.

13.Sometimes hiding from the world= BEST DECISION EVER

14.not only can you find gold in Africa, you can also find women called Goldie.

15.Loading of guns in the Battle of Waterloo was more hectic than getting a 41,000 score in Snake Xenzia.

16.Rick Ross' net worth is 20 million dollars. Drake's net worth is 16 mil. Ciara's net worth is 16.5 mil. Ciara is worth more than Drizzy Drake...Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. *im sorry*

17."In Vini Veritus" is not applicable at all times LIKE IT OUGHT TO. Some people just unleash Jackie Chan movies and Gossip Girl season 1.

18.If you eat fried potatoes, rice, chicken and chapatis everyday, in 3 months you may find yourself on the album cover of Port of Miami as the original artist's double.

19. Rick Ross, by the way may i remind you, is worth 20 mil. Seriously after all those shout outs, all that noise, i thought it was like one hundred thousand nine hundred billion million!

20. You can't afford to meet confused people on a hot sunny day-about 40° because there is nothing worse than hiding frustration and irritation and choking on sarcasm.

21. There is a new boda guy at the Bweyogerere stage called Drake. for real. That's my newest homie and the best part is he rides for his 'niggas' oooooooh!

22.Buy more than 1: it has been an uphill task moving up and down every 2 days to purchase rye bread.

23.The people i've "met" this holiday- the lesson being its never too late to make amazing new friends.

24.Only you can make you happy. You have brains in your head. you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction.

so i guess you're thinking-This is not a book of lessons?....well...dont spoil my day, i dont have an answer to thay. Good day!
xxxx
me

"Thats the system"

"Why?" the answer is not "Z" anymore.
I'm not really sure what the "system" is but for one to hold an "intelligent" conversation providing strong arguments, the phrase "That's the system" must be thrown around here and there.
The system as "they" know it is to blame for the world's problems. Yes that would be the poor education, appalling medical services...hell even the dirty bathrooms are like that because of the system and even when relationships go wrong, it is legit to blame it on the poor system. If i was the system id sue for defamation...i mean some of these issues-where is the connection.

"Thats the system!" is YOLO's predecessor and before the system,the world was being created so i guess the apple scene and whatever followed was not to be blamed on the system but if they'd thought of it fast enough...God would be listening to that song.

That's the system- a fancier way of saying "it just happens just for just because thats how it is" is going to be the death of us. if there is no accountability for our actions then im not sure if we should be wasting God's time breaking rules and asking for second chances with Acts of Contrition stating "Hey God,look here I only did that because thats just how things work around here" Lightning,thunder upon your insolent self by the way.

I wouldnt want to blame it entirely on lack of reasoning i mean sometimes people are probably tired of explaining why they keep getting acquitted for corruption...i mean come on do i need to tell you about thr bribe umpteen times. did you not get it the first time? Ok i wont be rude and throw a "Never mind" at you...im your kind leeader so here goes..."i guess its just the system
Maybe people are just really lazy and there is a clear description of this thing which im now getting tired of spelling every 5 seconds or this is just one of those words that make you look smart for the honeys but personally, if YOLO hasnt been much reason for me to live my life with a very scanty accountability for my actions then i doubt i'll depend on "The System" to explain why I did not do my homework & coursework.

Here goes....

So I promised someone I'd write something before the end of February. It was just a way of adding variety of words in the convo and of course look like im taking my writing seriously.Thank God this is a different February with like 35 days. So here I am working on that Pinky promise

First things first, its one of my most amazing friend's birthday. This is semi professional Alex but im also using this as a reminder for the years to come incase i grow busier with life and its hagglings, this post can be copied,pasted and dates edited. So i shall wrap up this extensive shout out with a ...hold up caps lock on HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX...and please celebrate your 4 decades like a learned man

Confession: I lack the inspiration right now so I'll probably tell you about something cooler like...uhm...9gag.com. Its an educational site,parents. Kids let me tell you a story about how I met my death...or you know you could probably visit that site and rewrite my story in the hip language you people will understand...i mean the other day someone added "nkt" to the sentence and i was lost for like another decade till a good Samaritan found me lurking in The Land of the Lost and made me cooler.

CUUUUUUUUUUT

Seriously ive been thinking of starting a TV show. Thank you Family Guy, Thank you 30 Rock (btw Tina Fey may not look like Beyonce...ok like Shakira..how can i put this in context..i'll get back to that, Tina Fey is amazing. in my next life i want to be like her and marry Alec Baldwin, thank you SNL, thank you thank you because now i will be the next Seth Macfarlene slash Tina Fey slash Kelsey Grammer with a musical cast to add a Grammy to my collection. imagine Tina Fey breathing next to me as we sit in the same area...that was meant to be a very innocent statement btw

So now i should probably work on the preliminary round of insanity and see if i can find me a title for le show. By the way the musical cast wamts to make a band and call it Fleas...no attachment to Glee...see even the spelling is different.

Adventures..No Keeping up with TitiMu the Campus Gyal inna Di Town

I wont even sell this member but having seen the pics of her campus life i can see she is the thing-she is really mu kintu. there is no way you can say this babe is not a campus girl. Really Musiba Tayi has some good pics of her room, her class, her environment with the Makerere university post-YOU JUST CANT PRETEND TO NOT BELIEVE SHE WAS ALSO THERE. there is hard evidence that incriminates her for murdering the street with her excitement. i know at this hawa there is a child of God doubting my story but first relax-you dont even have 500 friends on Facebook so you can't see these hostel room pictures.

hoooo, im so happy to be in CampUUU..check my bangs

So Musiba Tayi can we jus call her TitiMu-yes so TitiMu has gone for all the parties Kampala has to offer. and each party is graced with a title for Round Game World cup-btw let's first go off point, who remembers round game?? that upper class kwepena game-Good lord that stuff made me a ten back in the day because it was a #nkozeTraining like Golola Moses setting. anyway back to the issues at hand. TitiMu has wasted no time in becoming acquainted with Wandegeya fashion stores, which is a good thing because the budget she doesnt cry- so at least after that she can head to Mulokole's favorite salon, have some pencil twist something somethig-im telling you hairstyles in Uganda are random-WHO CAME UP WITH PENCIL??? and anyway she will be looking HAWT not Hot but HAWWT for T1.

its first year of course so many have chose to not waste their youth reminiscing with Backhouse and Abbot. its understandable, you have hustled with headmasters for 6 years you really need to first forget all that and think of yourself as Beyonce. anti now you see in high school they literally had you cut your scalp off but now here you are at Campus like it hath no NAME and you can sew all colors of artificial hair in your head and no one will pull you aside asking you to collect your expulsion letter.

Titi is from those schools where they dont really want boys to distract the girls so the boys who apply there are normally transferred before school starts and somehow you see them in Budo or SMACK or Namilyango or St Lawurencio. so Titi hasnt studied with the boys she applied to school Y with. She hasnt seen them in a while so im guessing if im goin to see you after a score i might as well dress up like a movie star. Atte this girl i told you she doesnt joke -even MunG wanted to first put her in that This Kyana Is Hot video. But she was swelling because her school counsellor told her she must swell and know she is worth The Mith videos not MunG.

anyway titi is calling me this weekend to tell me about Alfy..I thought the place was called Alfredos but man what do I know? i have told her Uganda Curayneez are playing today but unlike most of the Ugandan girls who find Daudi and Sekaggya hot....my dear TitiMu doesn't even know who these ninjas are so i just had to cut the jazz short and tell her my plans for Kigunda Cha mwaka which btdabz..NO ONE SHOULD MISS!!
xx
PinkAy Titimu's bestie

Yiyi how do these things happen?

1st of all i'd like to salute the donkeys that come on Twitter and Facebook and blame inflation for somehow falling in dishes yet they are also just going to watch goats be goats. this is not funny by the way so please first relax your comebacks im being serious. Atti now sugar prices are those ends-first go and polish that English and log in. Everyday i check my twitter page its like im reading Lamentations. Excuse me, i also have a Bible and those peeps had real problems.
Moving on, KCCA or KCC or whatever it wants to be because even LOL is good enough decides in 2011 that, "hmm laba citay eno, it has to be cleaned". Yes they realised in 2011 that the city was dirty. Our city has too many dirty things. like the Game-Lol i just had to say it THE GAME IS DEEERTTAAAY-back to the main issues, it has been dirty ever since i was born but somehow 2011 was right and fitting. I am 50 years now you can imagine, ok im stretching the truth but seriously i don't get it. so the Annets and Hanifas of the citay have been told to beat it, destroying their stalls in the hope of "decongesting" the citay.
What Jenny baibay doesn't understand is on her way back to Kololo when she uses that Wandegz route, she will need some passion fruits and Hanifah wont be there to help her out. so she will have to detour to Shoprite and those warevers to pay 9 million for a kilo-anyway its her loss, for me Hanifah is my neighbor.

But who is this arsonist who doesn't understand that my pocket wasn't made for Pioneer Mall. Owino burnt down the other day and i have only picked up the energy to talk about it now. Yes this blog is my therapist and if you are reading you are just as if watching a movie. by the way 'im sorry to be speaking with "as if" tags its just that i like to target the youth who are not excited instantly by Home news in New Vision so i am breaking down the issues for them like that like that. You get?? Yes i know you do but first wait where was i??...Owino...yes man you guy who is walking around doing such things for you how would you feel if i burnt that doughnut shop near your house-you can't even afford stuff from Vasili's Bakery so why don't we just help each other out
Meanwhile Mabira-please save it because in P1 upto P7 teachers took us for trips there and the grandmother monkeys there were always warm and hospitable. They kept the rabies and all for another day. besides the weather as you can see is already playing games so...please me abeg!
Anyway i dont want to pull a Riley Freeman with my president is black jazz but seriously I love my country *MunG voice* and i'd hate to watch my country men act Shaka Zulu part 5 for me-that stuff made me cry. Please dont frustrate them
Pinky

\(",)/

So basically i miss my cousins! The moslem ones who invite us to 'eat' E(I)dd with them! Ok you see, we are not cousins like that! Their mum is just mob tight with my aunt! Those things! But that aunt of mine is my mum's sister so for that one you can see we are mob tight relations! At least our relationship is clear!

So yeah im here very unpillawoed but what to do, you know? No you dont, because for you you ate pillawo! Some Basmati rice please. *background song-Beggin'-Madcon*

anyway today i watched VMAs, yes i know im late but it happens to everyone. Doesnt it? Yes yes i accept your hearty apologies!
Eh meanwhyleeeeeez my pingus are in university now! *background jam-Campus Gal-Hilda* so now they'll be like 'Oh my God im so streyssed. Campus is not eazay''. But i was in Wandegs sometime picking a thing that someone needed and heard girls talk like that! I havent even paraphrased! That was the jazz for real! Anyway have fun and yaaa go home on Friday night! Btw this Thursday go for Wax off at KEC.

IM WATCHING EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND SO BE RIGHT BACK AKA BRB
xoxo
Pinxta